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The Homeschool Lifestyle: Marriage

The Homeschool Lifestyle – Marriage 

What does marriage have to do with homeschooling?! A lot! And this is a topic that pulls on my heart, so bear with me, as this post is a little longer than usual. Your marriage is important, take the time to read through to the end.

We’ll continue our analogy of the home to understand the relevance of your marriage to your homeschool lifestyle.

Previously, we looked at the foundation on which to build our homeschool – Jesus. Once this is established, we need a structure in place, built in the proper sequence, with necessary components used in their intended roles.

The structure of your homeschool, the walls that are erected in order for the family to dwell inside, is your marriage.

If homeschooling is a lifestyle, and marriage is part of life, marriage is a part of your homeschool experience.

Your marriage is intended to happen before children enter the picture. As unpopular as it is in today’s culture, your relationship with your husband takes precedence over your relationship with your kids. You and your husband build the home together, on the foundation of Christ.

When your marriage is a reflection of the relationship of Jesus and the Church, you establish a home in which your family can flourish. Your homeschool, in turn, can flourish within these walls too.

Your marriage sets the tone for the household. What tone is reverberating through your home?

The walls of a home provide protection for your family from outside elements and threats. A Godly marriage can protect your family from outside influences which threaten to harm your family.

Your marriage is a wall of protection for your children. Are you protecting your marriage?

How do you protect your marriage?

As parents, and especially as parents where Mom is home with the kids all day, it’s super easy to get wrapped up in the daily and put your relationship with your husband on the back burner. It’s time to move your marriage to the front burner!

After Jesus, your relationship with your husband is the most important relationship you will ever be in. Nourish it, make time for it, and yes, create it on the foundation of Christ.

Your kids are watching what you do; they are learning more from you and how you relate to the world, than they are from any book you will ever place in front of them. Give them great input!

Ephesians 5 tells us that the marriage relationship is a reflection of Jesus’ relationship with the Church. Christ is the head of the Church; the husband is the head of the home. We won’t go off on the rabbit trail of back and forth this verse brings up here; for now, remember that God is a God of order, and there is a reason behind the order He calls for in the Church, in life, and in our homes – which means there is order for our closest relationships as well. 

Your children have a front row seat to watch an example of a healthy, Godly marriage by being in your home. Let’s commit to giving them the best possible example so they can go out and create their own healthy, Godly marriage in adulthood!

You, as the wife, are called to submit to your husband’s lead. This does not mean you are a doormat, weak, to remain silent, nor be in a one-sided relationship. Likewise, your husband is called to love and lead in an honorable way. When your husband chooses to be a man after God’s own heart, loves his wife, and has her best interests in mind, it makes it far easier to submit to his headship. When it isn’t easy, we are still called to submit to his headship. This may be a difficult habit to create, if you are not already practicing this order in your marriage, but remember, your kids are watching. And even better, your marriage will thrive and strengthen as you and your husband honor the rolls you were each given.

***Please note, when I talk about marriage and the submission of a wife to her husband, I am not talking about remaining in an abusive relationship, nor submitting to that which goes against Scripture. If you are in an abusive situation, get away and find a safe place for you and your children. If your husband is not a follower of God, and is expecting unGodly things from you, seek wise counsel in your church for advice on your specific situation.

If submission doesn’t mean being a doormat or silent partner, what does it mean? How do we set a God-honoring example in our marriage?

Husbands and wives work best as a team. The husband being the head of the home means ultimately decisions fall on him. As his wife, you are his partner to discuss whatever issues (good or bad) arise. Talk through it, listen to each other, consider options, and honor the conclusion he comes to. 

If you are not currently functioning this way, you may be wondering how that will ever work. How you can let go of some control. I hear you! I was there too, and sometimes go back there. What I can tell you is that because my husband and I work as a team, because we discuss things and listen to each other, and because he has shown me time and again he has our best interest at heart when he makes decisions,  I rest much easier with the conclusions he comes to. Most times, we are on the same page; the times we aren’t I can choose to go with his thoughts and see what the outcome is. Many times it works out great, some times not so great, and in these moments, my husband shifts and tries again.

I think it’s worth repeating…your kids are watching. What are you showing them a marriage should look like?

Do you date your husband? 

Do you make time for each other, even a few minutes, each day to connect and fill each other in on you day?

Do you work as a team?

Do you allow your kids to see the two of you disagree and watch you work it out?

Do you say “I love you”, hold hands, and yes, even kiss (ewwwwww!) in front of your kids. No making out in front of the children please, I know he’s hot, but get a room Mom and Dad! 

In all seriousness, kids need to see their parents love each other. It gives them a sense of security, it teaches them how to be a Godly spouse themselves, and study upon study shows that children who grow up in a home with Dad and Mom happily married, have more emotional stability than those who do not have the blessing of this home life.

Make your marriage a priority. Choose to be married as God laid out in His Word.


Pam Spinker

I help Christian homeschool moms, just like you, thrive in your home and in your walk with Christ. If you question your abilities, or feel like you’re drowning in homeschooling, you’re in the right place! 

I’m here to help!