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A Wife of Noble Character

A Wife of Noble Character

“A wife of noble character, who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12

The world has many opinions when it comes to relationships between men and women, marriage, our roles in life, and what defines a family.  It changes almost daily it seems. How are we to know what is expected of us when the current trending theme is “fluidity”? Where is our guidance? Our moral compass? Where is the solid ground on which we can stand and be certain?

The answer is always found in Scripture. 

How grateful are you that your Creator God loves you to the point where He has given you instructions on how to live life in this fallen world?!  Personally, my gratitude is beyond words.

Sweet friend, don’t be afraid to read Proverbs 31. It has been given a false reputation of being a chapter that gives women a lengthy list of impossible expectations; expectations that are wrongfully thought to have come from men and not from God Himself.  Proverbs 31 doesn’t exist to make you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, it’s meant to guide you and provide you with an example of the strength and capabilities you are created with. Women are amazing and we carry a strength inside that men marvel at.  We each have a role to play in the world, in our marriages, and in other relationships we have. I pray this short post series will shed new light on Proverbs 31 for you and that you will begin to look to its words for guidance and inspiration.

Let’s begin with our role as wife.

After your relationship with Christ, your relationship with your husband is the most important.  If you are putting your kids ahead of your marriage, your marriage will experience lack. I know how time-consuming motherhood is – I have 6 kiddos. These kids grow into adults and leave the house. If you and your husband have not been pouring into your relationship together, you risk feeling lost and disconnected once the children have left the nest. 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to put your relationship with your husband ahead of your relationship with your kids. Do whatever it takes to have moments with him. I promise you will not regret it. You are a team. Teams do not experience wins if they do not spend a large amount of time together practicing and creating a flow. Successful teams contain players that are in rhythm with each other, they know the other players inside and out; they trust each other; they work as a unit. They communicate with one another. They discuss the role each member will take on, trust that each member will perform their role to the best of the abilities, for the good of the team. Each member knows their part and works tirelessly to continually improve upon themselves spiritually, mentally, and physically. Teams approach each event as one cohesive unit. It’s a beautiful site to witness.

Are you a wife of noble character? Do you work with or against your husband? Do you allow him to lead the family, or do you take over everything because “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself”? Have you and your husband discussed the responsibilities each of you will take in the marriage and in the home? Are you diligent and faithful in the roles you agreed to fill? Do you look for things to praise your husband for? Are you waiting for him to change before you begin to change, or are you taking responsibility for your actions and working daily on becoming the best wife you can be?

Please don’t misjudge my words for criticism. I have made and still make mistakes. I don’t always act or react as I should. My words and actions aren’t always honoring my husband, and there are times I just want things to turn out the way I want them, and not the way he does. Scripture has been twisted and misused to the point where meaning of words and statements has been sullied and counterfeited from God’s intention. Ladies, it is up to us to choose if we listen to the world or to our Creator when it comes to our marriages. We cannot force our husbands to change, and neither can they force us to change. Change and growth are under the control of the individual, and in a marriage the motive should be not only to improve oneself, but also to improve the marriage as a whole. While we can’t force change, we can certainly have a positive influence over our husbands by our outward evidence of internal changes.

What areas can you work on?  Where can you begin to do your part in creating a strong, healthy, loving marriage? Where can you improve your skills and your strength so that when you and your teammate go onto the field, you know you have each other’s backs and that each of you will hold up his and her end of the bargain? You cannot change him, you can only change yourself; and many times your change influences him to change as well.

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Pam Spinker
Author-Speaker-Mentor

I help Christian homeschool moms, just like you, thrive in your home and in your walk with Christ. If you question your abilities, or feel like you’re drowning in homeschooling, you’re in the right place! 

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